When You Realize It
This is a frame from our first wedding video. This blog post is behind the scenes of TimAndrea’s life during this time:
Tim had been in this business for a couple years prior. He did all of his research, kept up with mainstream wedding videographers, and continuously educated himself and practiced his videography skills so that he could make this a full time business.
When we started Barefoot Films, I (Andrea) was terrified. Can we really do this? Are we really going to be able to make this thing we both love so much a full time job? I have always loved telling stories with my camera. But story had always been my focus, not the technical stuff.
When Tim started to teach me these more advanced things, I felt like I was starting from square one. I felt like I had to relearn everything. I became angry and annoyed at the simplest things that I didn’t catch onto right away. When I couldn’t pick something up “quick enough,” I got frustrated with Tim and wanted to give up. I just couldn’t do it.
Tim was patient. He was kind. I knew at times I tried his patience in so many ways, but he never stopped teaching me these things that were going to help me.
I struggled this way through our first couple of weddings. I saw Tim killing it with the experience he had, and I felt like the newbie fumbling with my camera in the background, trying to stay composed and keep from crying. I let my insecurities get the best of me. I even questioned if this was really where we were supposed to be. Maybe we would be more comfortable with something easier and more on my level...
It’s hard to recognize pride in the moment. You cover it up by feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t know as much as the other person. Or you get upset because you know that they know more than you and you convince yourself that they are the prideful ones who “know it all.”
During this whole time of thinking that maybe this was the wrong path for us (though everything but my feelings were pointing clearly to this), I failed to realize something that would change everything.
I needed to lay down my pride. I needed to humble myself. I don’t know it all, and that is okay. I needed to allow myself to mess up, just like Tim allowed for me to make mistakes; to get up again and learn from them. I needed to be be thankful for Tim and his willingness (and even excitement!) to teach me. I needed to be okay with the time it was going to take to get to the place where I wanted to be. I needed to let go of this anger, frustration, and nonsense that was holding me back from being teachable, excited, and a better videographer.
This ending is happy, I promise! Letting go of pride during this time was one of my biggest wins throughout our business so far. It can absolutely still creep in at times, but that’s when I remember how good it felt to let go and just be willing to learn and mess up and learn more and mess up more again.
Learning this not only helped us in our business, but in our marriage. You don’t realize how much pride you have until you share your life with someone. But know and remember that pride gets you nowhere. It doesn’t grant you anything. It doesn’t make people admire you more, praise you more, or love you more. But letting it go and humbling yourself can change a person. Don’t underestimate the power of it. Humility can really be a darn sexy thing.
